Alan Partridge: Well, it's just a title, I mean Erm No, uh-uh-uh, opening sequence, me, in Trafalgar Square, feeding the pigeons, going "Oh God!". . "I'm Alan Partridge Quotes." This book is a top business aid. Nobody does it - ooh, bit of nipple - quite as good as you. You'd say 'You look nice John'", Alan, it seems, is happier in Norfolk these days than London, which he has put firmly behind him, Alan on London: "Go to London, I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. Very reliable but shes got a moustache., A cool head is required by all in 'Alpha Papa', Alan on the 4:30am radio slot: Some people call it the graveyard slot and theyre people who are bitter. And he turns round with his gun and then he does a backward somersault off this ramp, and he, he lands on his feet - I'm not sure why, but he's not showing off. beloved Britons such as Intermediate and Peep Show. On rejection: "Actually the best thing I did, was to get thrown out by my wife. Fly over one of those boring families going on a cycling vacation. ", 13. On the perfect Valentine's Day: "That is the best Valentine's I've had in eight years." Nevertheless, nice song. Bounce Back: A Book That Has Been Described As Lovely Things. Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now f*** off! Michael: Yeah, well, I suppose technically y'could, aye. long time Partridge described her as being like a "mouse" (from her behaviour) and a "badger" (from her appearance). [Alan is having his disturbing recurring daydream of himself as a male stripper]. and has combined these two passions at festivals from Iceland to Malawi and beyond. Even though we're basically just listing chocolate bars. Lynn: We might give you a second series. My girlfriend's 33. He almost got dirty. Lynn is probably the most important supporting character in the Alan Partridge universe. Colonel Mustard in the ensuite bathroom with the lead pipe. [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]. Its like being inside a huge Foxs Glacier Mint, which, again, is a bonus to me. Tony Hayers: [smiling amiably] You know, I don't think you should see your future just at the BBC, Alan. And while I was there, I saw some graffiti and it said 'I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.' [Lynn tries to speak] No! Warner Bros. Alan Partridge: Lynn, message from Alan. You're suffering from minor women's whiplash! Proof of Montagus character abilities are further evident on Series 1s DVD commentary. By the time the giant hair dryer came on, I was in the footwell. Dr. No Vocal Cords. 14. I would have taken it off sooner, but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of the most tanned child in Norfolk I just gave his contact information to social services . 9. Id just like to fly a helicopter all around Norfolk. In 1974 I took the train from London to Crewe station. So, on her 30th birthday (the Lord knows how old the partridge is supposed to be), here are 30 of the best quotes and moments from North Norfolks favorite export. You know what this room says to me? Alan Partridge: Can you fingerprint a sausage? Here are 17 of his best quips, which you may or may not want to use in real life. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. Each Alan Partridge quote is unlike anything you have ever read before. Go to London! Susan: Um, Alan, Did you send Sophie a Valentine's card this morning? Straight away you've got them by the jaffas.. And the bad news?Lynn Benfield: The accountants say that since you . Lynn: Good. Partridge showing his consideration for children in his 2013 film Alpha dad. You know, go for a field. Shook Jackie Stewart's hand. Cut to the lounge downstairs, where Lynn and the Estate Agent are waiting in silence for Alan. Which ironically is like a large petrol station. Michael: Oh, right. Fairly detailed. I've just lost a pint of blood. What a beautiful song. A second series followed in 2002, with Partridge now living in a static caravan after recovering from a mental breakdown. Details Alan Partridge: No, Jill will be sleeping with me tonight. I can read you like a book, and not a very good book. Alan Partridge: Whoa! Wretched.. "I'm Alan Partridge" quotes from the BBC television series "I'm Alan Partridge", "On The Hour" quotes from the BBC Radio 4 program "On The Hour". Michael: [serving them their desserts] Here you go. I love this house. Alan Partridge: [Dismissively] Uh-uh. Alan Partridge: [Stepping into the lift] Well, there you go. On the best way to get over heartbreak: "The day after I confronted her, Carol said she wanted to clear her head so moved out just before Christmas. It's not hardcore super-sex. They taught you a trade. Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe. tv shows Alan Partridge: Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. These are not my words, Carol, these are the words of Top Gear Magazine. We're on a submarine. But, yeah, I used to dream that one day I'd drive a brand-new Range Rover towing a speed boat. Alan Partridge: Oh, I know, I am a bit mad. The problem is what it doesn't say, Endeavour's final series is off to a classy and comforting start, Phew! 20052023 Mashable, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. Robert Moon: Well, the way things is going, I dunno Alan Partridge: Can you just answer "yes", for the purposes of a joke? Cashback! Alan Partridge: Whooo whooo who do you think you are? 15. 6. Which is more than could be said for me, for I was an only child. Friedrich Schiller CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. I mean, people forget that traders need access to * DIXONS *! She's my favourite. Tony Hayers: There is to be no second series. Pat Farrell: I used to dream about growing old with someone I love. Occupation Alan Partridge Quotes. 1 on Billboard 200 Billboard. Discovery alleges that Paramount undercut their $500 million deal. I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the pinnacle of his Blue Peter career. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. Alan Partridge: Keep the penny, you've got a gun. 11th August 2017. He's an idiot. It's all right. Quotes.net. Aha! Can I No, in fact I'll just repeat the question. Urrgh. I don't agree with that, but I don't like hairy women., Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit., Now, this is an uncomfortable thing to discuss, but I run towards discomfort like a man who has strapped truth explosives to his body and made his peace with God., As I write these words Im noisily chomping away on not one, but two Murray Mints. 2023. Imagine two things that you like. Two fat ladies, 88! An interesting take on an otherwise iconic song. 18:00, 14 MAY 2021; . Michael: [Speaking too quickly] Ye knaw, what ah reckon is that, if they had the'selves proper jobs, they wouldn't be up to all this, y'know, larkin' every night. Steve Coogan was only 26 when he first played the role in Episode 1 of the satirical news program On the Hour on BBC Radio 4 in the UK. I'd gan back to school. And yell at them get out of the area! And watch them panic! Not that you'd find these ladies at a bingo hall, of course they're altogether a higher class of fat lady. Alan Partridge: Um. Alan Partridge: Thank you for being this morning's farmer, Robert Moon. And so after a final flurry scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit I stop scratching. I've locked you all in the boardroom so you don't get me. Alan Partridge: Sorry, Michael, that was just a noise. Oh, I sound like the devil. You're sacked! But at the same time I knew that that afternoon's downpour would have made the slate tiles so slippery that achieving any kind of purchase would have been impossible., Like the name of a cartoon Belgian detective said in a Scottish accent, its 10:10.11 It, gingerly. paradise, something Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesnt quite fit his blind worldview. Alan Partridge: Well, that's not really gold, is it? Jill, what do you think of the pedestrianization of Norwich city center? 23. You're listening to Up with the Partridge, A-ha. Aqua. Not me Triumph Stag! Let me tell you something about the Titanic, people forget, people forget that on the Titanic's maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg! I mean medium height. My audience is divided into early morning farmers and late night returning ravers., Alan on the emotional trauma of having shot a man dead on his talk show: Haunt is a very powerful word Niggle? I said, you too to a new face. Sophie Rundle: Motherhood has made me too tired to people-please', When presenter Steve Allen left LBC and his statement following immediate exit, Date of Ken Bruce's final day on Radio 2 and why he's leaving for Greatest Hits early, The Witch Trials of JK Rowling makes sensible points. Alan Partridge: Well, then, you must be a full moon! Alan Partridge: I had hopes and dreams. No one had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse. [5] Alan Partridge: That's about right. Tony Hayers: Why would I want to do that? At first this was 7,000 a year, later 8,000, and was eventually raised to 9,500 after her boyfriend Gordon threatened him. But then at the last minute Michael: He pulls a ripcord, right? [they are then interrupted by a man who comes up to the table and greets Tony]. Alan Partridge: I like the, uh, I like those earrings. But first I'd take out the labs and then I'd type into the attack computer 'Mr Cragg, chemistry teacher'. And a broken home is not an excuse for evil. Id spend hours in HMVs, Virgin Megastores and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds, listening to contemporary music of every genre Britrock, heavy maiden, gang rap, brakebeat. Alan Partridge: Yep, fair point. Y'know, vandals, y'know? Too late Nobody does it half as good as you, baby you're the best! The submarine's being eaten by a a giant tanker." I'll tolerate one, but not both. Bookmark. Fantastic. And he'd see us, but I'd duck down behind the trees, and he thinks he's safe, right? He doesn't like that. Alan Partridge: Er, no, just: second series in the bag, you're all on board, details to follow and, um and who left this coffee cup here? Lynn was very prudish with language, sex and non-Baptist activities or beliefs, but came across overall as an agreeable and pragmatic woman with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of patience and tact. It's soup you can eat - that's not so liquid. Striker! 19. Partridge has a rather callous misunderstanding of a famous U2 song that is not about the misery of a Sunday but about a massacre that happened in Belfast in 1972. On keeping personal and private lives separate: "Lynn's not my wife. I think we all did. Peter Linehan: Has he given you another series? I am standing by a graveside, the wind whistling through my hair like a wind whistle. 29. Television Alan Partridge: You know what this room says to me? I've been working like a Japanese prisoner of war. Alan Partridge: Because because you do this all the time. Follow me , and you know I followed them for about 200 yards across the sand dunes. He's an idiot. It's going to be terrible and I need to see it immediately. Felicity Montagu I love this house. I was supposed to hit that later. Just stop it!" Did you see that!? Go on, try and finish the sentence and see what I do. Never, never criticise Muslims. Oh God. 4. Go to London, and I guarantee you will be either assaulted or unappreciated. Take the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway. [He laughs and leaves the room], [He shuts the door. Two chocolate mousses. Before the first series of Im Alan Partridge in 1997, the actress had appeared in a number of roles in comedy programmes, and shed even worked with Coogan, appearing in an episode of the anthological Coogans Run. Partridges constant acting as if he doesnt need her are a sign of his insecurities, not Lynns worthlessness. Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway. mccartney wings He comes out. You promised that this show would be hot and now you're chatting to three senior citizens." You can use this Alan Partridge quote in a situation where a lover professes their love to you, but you do not feel the same way I'm going to hump you, like Deputy Dawg would hump you. I've had enough of that! Lynn Benfield: I picked up these brochures for the new Metro. [Jill has just smeared Alan with chocolate mousse, there is a knock at the door. That's English for stop a horse! There are 15 dealers doing a little of this, a little of that. Its a delicious relief but I know its merely stoking the irritation. No one will watch that. When I finally got there, all they had done was dig a big hole. And he said, this is saaad, you want to upgrade. And then, then he goes over a cliff and he's falling and you think, oh God, James Bond's going to die! Cook a cat! getty images Enjoy it. There is an awkward pause] Sorry, bit of a joke there. But I peck, overall a very good effort, seven against ten. Maybe I want to mix them up, but I want it to be my decision. Alan Partridge: Excellent. Alan Partridge: You know, when I used to see you in reception, do you know what I used to think? Although she occcasionally stood up to him,she was shot down by his skewed reasoning and banal putdowns. A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - Lynn Benfield: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?Alan Partridge: The good news.Lynn Benfield: Well, Rawlinson's say you can have another fifty of the shop-soiled chocolate oranges if you plug them again tomorrow.Alan Partridge: Excellent. You have big sheds, but nobody's allowed in. Alan Partridge: No. And now I did trump. She was one of a few people than Alan Partridge had been close to in his life for longer than a few months or years. Something to pitch to Tony Hayers at BBC lunch, Friday. Here are some tips and tricks to help you find the answer to 'Wordle' #620. I am 47 years old; my girlfriend is 33 years old. Tony Hayers: Well, unfortunately for you, I am the Chief Commissioning Editor of BBC Television. So, iou be Tony Hayers. Back of the net!" 8. Erm, drink it. Which is French for water. I heard a bit of commotion. If you're ever doing an after-dinner speech, you say 'My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry I'm late, I just popped to the toilet. Glanalangalangalangalangalang! That's alright, that's OK "Inner-City Sumo". ", 4. You are sacked, I'm sacking you. Jill: "What did you do eight years ago?" ago. It's a lovely car. Thanks for signing up. It's called a Rover Metro now. 1. Hello Suzanne. Alan Partridge: You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth, and the plums have mutated and they have got beaks. Peter Baxendale Thomas: Oh, for goodness' sake. I just think it's time for you to consider moving on to new pastures. What a great song. Stop getting Bond wrong! That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they 'Paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. 1 Mar. Lynn Benfield Alan after sex: "Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. Alan Partridge: I will not have uncleansed coffee cups in Pear Tree Productions. I would've taken it off sooner but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of Norfolk's most sun-tanned child. It sums up the frustration of a Sunday, doesnt it? No! Part of HuffPost Entertainment. No! Alan Partridge: That's about right. Everyone's here. Alan Partridge: Right. Uphill races become commonplace, while overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long-term affair. "Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa Quotes." Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. Michael: Aye. Tony Hayers: We don't owe you a living. And then yeah, you can stop doing that now. A, a glittering year ahead. And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I come up from behind the hedge, 'Hello, you bastard.' Alan Partridge: Lynn! [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. Alan Partridge: No, that's a bit too far-fetched. Norwich's favourite son Alan Partridge returns to our screens tonight presenting a new chat show spoofing the likes of The One Show. Michael: And then I'd go looking for Tom Donaldson. He doesn't like that. In 2006, she took the leading role of housewife and gang queen Barbara Du Prez in the offbeat comedy series Suburban Shootout. My marriage fell apart soon after that. That contains anthrax., Surveillance isnt easy, though. It's not the Gulf War. small-talk. Let's not get into who hit who or, you know, who may have deserved it. Fish, iron, rumour or war? Let's just pop the extractor . 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